A child’s perspective of living in two worlds of divorced parents – A conversation with my daughter

A child’s perspective of living in two different worlds of divorced parents. That is the reflection of the day. A conversation with my daughter, Natasha Trusa. Hello Natasha, how are you doing?
Natasha: Goid, good!
Maria: So, we are getting ready to leave to go to Vermont. We have a house in Vermont that we love to go to named Escapo because we like to escape to Vermont. Before we leave, we had planned that we were going to do this podcast where Natasha is going to be sharing with you her feelings of being in two different worlds of divorced parents. So let’s go, Natasha. Talk about your feelings.
N: So, it causes a lot of anxiety and sometimes, you want to be in one place rather than the other and other times it’s vice versa. So, it just is hard because no matter what age you are, you can miss your parents a lot. Like, I’ll just get bad like anxiety or bad thoughts because having to deal with the situation
M: What do you think is the hardest time? Like, is it during the day? Is it at night?
N: Yeah. So, for me, the hardest time is at night time. I don’t know. I feel like I need more security. Like, I can be alone during the day or whatever. I don’t mind. But my biggest issue is night time. It’s sort of hard to explain exactly why. But it’s just you need more comfort or just I like to have a good night rest with like, you know, love.
M: And you feel that it’s easier to be with your mother sometimes?
N: Yeah, I mean, it changes. It’s like, it varies but like, for now, because of stuff if you’re like a girl, you know, sometimes, I want to be with mom or if you’re a boy, you possibly would like to be with their dad more. But it also depends on how the parents react to the situation that makes you want to stay with one or the other more. But I love both of them. But, yes, it’s tough because sometimes you prefer to be with the one at the moment.
M: I know that you know, we tried very hard not to talk negative about each other but sometimes, and this isn’t talking about your dad and myself, it could difficult because there are feelings and sometimes, one of the parents might say something negative about the other one and how does that make you feel?
N: It’s really sad because sometimes, you see other kids and it looks like everything’s going great for them. Like, they have their parents together and they’re happy. But, then, it hurts to just like, it’s annoying because like half of me is one parent, half of me is the other parent. So when one parent hurts the other, then it hurts me, not just the other one. I have an instinct to defend whichever one that was hurt.
M: I think, you know, this is for us parents. We have to be very careful how we speak about the divorced parent. Like I try, and Nathasha can attest to that, really hard not to say anything negative or cause stress for her or to have her in the middle of making decisions because when you do that, it actually puts so much stress on the kid. To put them, to make decisions and choose, it is not right because they are children. So, we need to be very sensitive to that and be careful what you say. Even if you try to be, if you think you’re slick and you might be throwing a little jab. I call it like becoming a surgical surgeon. You start cutting little cuts and you don’t think the kid is getting it. The kid is getting it right. Because you always say things like they might not think so. Talk a little bit about that. Like, they might say something where it is not direct but you actually feel it.
N: Like, inside you, you feel it. It hurts because,I’m a kid like, you know, I’m not 18 yet or like it’s, it’s just hard because you are adults right and compared to a kid, you want to give them the best childhood and let them live their childhood because there are some kids who are more mature than others. But that doesn’t mean you should take advantage of them. Just like harass them with all these, like, thoughts and everything that you think they don’t notice but kids are pretty smart and we’re smarter than you think and you assume.
M: This is our conversation together. We wanted to make sure that we help you if you are parents that are divorced and you have kids. Please be careful of what you say about each other, instead of sending negative energy. Because negative energy comes back to you. That is the way energy works. So, one of the things that Natasha knows that I do is I always send love and kindness to her dad and the family. I do this meditation of love and kindness. The meditation says to send love and kindness to yourself. it goes, “ May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be at peace” and I do the same thing for her dad. May he be happy. May he be healthy. May he be at peace. The same thing for anyone that is angry in your life. You can send them positive energy. Because it will come back to you. Natasha, thank you so much for joining me. We will do this again.
N: Yes, it was my pleasure. I love doing this and helping other people with their predicament.
Remember to reflect, reset and reconnect.

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