How to stop those painful words from penetrating your soul. That is the reflection of the day. This is a very powerful reflection for me. Today, I was having a conversation and trying to coach a friend of mine on an issue with a loved one. This person that is having the issue is someone that has seen the destruction of someone that she loves. Someone that is extremely important in her life. That individual that is going through destroying his life is saying words, sending messages that are extremely hurtful and abusive to this individual. The irony is that the major reaction in life is to get angry at this person. Then, we become the victims. That is a cycle that continues that is very vicious. In many relationships where you get this message from someone that is hurting you and is really abusive and then, you become the victim, you get angry and you decide that you are going to continue engaging in the same way and then, you sent a message that is also hurtful and you go into this tit for tat. You decide who’s going to hurt each other the most. Even the people that we love the most will do this to. One of the things that I’m very present to is the fact that when you are aware of why somebody is sending somebody that’s supposed to be loving you messages of hate and messages that are so abusive and painful then, you have to look at this individual and say where is it coming from because, usually, I know in this instant, this person was abused, physically beaten up and not just physically but also mentally by the father. Then, the mold continues and this other person is building that hate but that is the mold that he understands and is comfortable in a sick way. Because of the subconscious mind, 95% of our actions are from the subconscious mind and we don’t have control over that. Only through awareness, through reprogramming, through affirmations and work daily, work you can change. But when you are so deep into that hole, you have a hard time coming out. Sometimes,many people don’t come out of that hole but if you are someone that is dealing with someone like that then, you have the choice. You have a choice on engaging with this person in an honest and empathetic way where you can say, “Listen, I understand how much pain you’re in because the words that you just sent to me, it is impossible that you really mean it. You are supposed to love me. If it’s your father, you are supposed to be my dad and I know that you love me. You just don’t know how to love me because you are in so much pain and you are stuck in the victim mode. But I choose not to do that anymore. I choose not to engage in this toxic relationship with you. You either get help or I am stepping out until you decide that you are going to get help because I no longer want to be abused. I say no more to abuse. I will not continue to entertain any messages that you’re sending me. I will not continue to meet with you and hear you abuse me because I am going to break the cycle. I’m going to break this cycle, not just for me. I’m going to break the cycle for my children, the future generation and my future legacy. I cannot do this.” If it’s your dad, “I cannot do this anymore. I love you. I do not want to abandon you but I need to step aside from you. I truly hope that you’re going to get the help that you need. But if you don’t and you decide that you are going to continue your destruction, I will be very sad and heart broken. My heart breaks right now and my heart will break knowing that you have chosen the path of destruction even though you are about to lose a daughter or a son. But I say no more to abuse. I will love you until the day I die but I choose not to love you this way. I say no more. I will break the cycle even if it means that you won’t be in my life. I love you and I hope that you will be strong enough and that I will be your catalyst and your accelerator to change your life.” Let’s reflect, reset and reconnect with any of those people that are hurting you and abusing you with words with messages and actions. I say no more!
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