How To Cope With Anxiety- A Conversation With My Daugther

How to cope with anxiety? A conversation with my daughter. That is the reflection of the day. Today, I have a very special guest. As I said on the title of this reflection, I decided to ask my daughter to talk about anxiety because, as you know, I have shared with many of you that follow me that I dealt with anxiety for about 15 years of my life and I took on this journey where I’ve been able to really live an anxiety-free life which is a beautiful way to live and is extremely hard to accomplished. So I want to get my daughter ‘s perspective from a child who is 12 years old and learning to deal with almost being a teenager and a child that has dealt with anxiety. Natasha, thank you for joining me on my podcast.
Natasha: Yes, I’m so grateful to be here with my mom and just have a good talk and be able to embrace our anxiety.
Maria: Embracing it is a great way of putting it because we have to admit that we suffer from anxiety and then what we have to do is find ways of dealing with the anxiety. So can you talk about some of the anxieties that you have as almost a teenager, throughout the years dealing with divorced parents and all of that. This is an open forum for you to be completely authentic.
N: Yeah, so I mean over the years, I’ve had, you know, different kinds of anxiety. Now I feel, because I’m getting to a more mature state in my life, some of them are more, you know, like they’re bigger, like harder anxieties to deal with. But a few of them, just now, being almost a teenager, I’ve worried about like I have insecurities and I just deal with it, you know.
M: What are some of your insecurities?
N: So I mean, I feel like in this day and age, sometimes you worry about your physical appearance and for some reason, I feel as though sometimes I’m not good enough. Even though other people tell me that I am grateful for those people like my mom and my family. But, even though you have other people’s, you know, opinions, it doesn’t always assure you fully. You know, you feel like you’re secure no matter who you get it from. So I still like, deal with, like not liking my eyes or my weight even though other people tell me it’s fine. I still struggle with it and that really like, you know, eats up your happiness. You just can’t find, you can’t be as happy as you would without anxiety. So, it sort of takes your present moment and it ruins your confidence. But I still try to, you know, to make myself feel better.
M: What are some of the ways that you deal with anxiety?
N: So once in a while, I like to do meditation and it’s sort of like hard because you know, my mom, she loves it. She does it every single freaking day! So she really does love it. It’s good because I like having Mama at Calm and all that. But sometimes, like at my age, you might not like to listen to your parents. If you know what I mean. So I like doing meditation. I like listening to music. That’s a big part of my life. I really love to pray. I like to have conversations with my mom. Like, I open up because once you let it out, it feels good. You’re not hiding it and you’re not keeping it in. It builds up and you just can’t take it anymore. So it’s good to talk with other people. I read the Bible. I have a Bible App which is easy and convenient.
M: Well tell them some of the things that we do. Like our night routine and our day nights.
N: So we have conversations about stuff. Like these deep topics. We also, before we go to bed, we say a few things or more than a few things that we are grateful for and we say one thing we love about each other. I think it’s a really good exercise to just do even if you’re having some bad moments.
M: Which we do it sometimes
N: We really do but that’s for everybody.
M: But we work through our issues right which is the most important thing.
N: You have to always notice that, like I said, is a silver lining. You have to always, no matter what you’re going through at the time, you just have to look at the bright side. Even if you feel like there’s not much you go through, you can really notice how much there is. It’s really hard sometimes because we’re human and we’re built like that. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself for that because I feel like sometimes people expect a lot from me and sometimes I expect more from myself. So I just get overwhelmed but you can’t be hard on yourself because, you know, even God doesn’t expect that. I always try to just think of how much I have and what’s good about myself and, you know, I have my mom and I have my family and God and everyone.
M: So I think one of the biggest pieces of advice is you need to talk. You need to not keep it inside because when you keep it inside, then nobody can help you unless you express your feelings and you let the people in. It could be your mother but if you don’t have a good relationship with your mom or your family, your dad, it could be somebody, a friend. Somebody that you respected, a grandmother. Whoever it is. Somebody that you trust. You feel comfortable and you can share your deepest thoughts. I’m blessed, you know, because Natasha and I have been working so hard at connecting that we’ve created a foundation where Natasha is able to really express herself with me in a deep way knowing I am not going to be judging her. I am here to support her, I’m here to teach her, I’m here to guide her as much as I can and that she’s not gonna be judged. That is important because I think some of the mistakes that we make, as parents, is that when kids come to us, we try to be parents immediately and we sort of start judging them and lecturing them. I think when you lecture so much, then you block the conversation between you and your child. So it is important that we reflect and reconnect on a daily basis of how we connect and build a foundation that is strong with our children where they feel that we are there to protect them no matter what. So one last word Natasha what would you say.
N: Well, I would just say to, like all the parents or some advice, it feels really good to just be able to talk freely and not be judged. Even if, you know, everyone has their opinions and stuff but like it’s amazing to have a parent that you can just talk to about anything even if it seems like the weirdest thing ever. Like you won’t get criticized. Like that means a lot and another thing just to embrace. Embrace everything you’re feeling because it helps you know that you’re not alone and when you tell other people, they might be dealing with the same thing. You figure it out. You’re like, I have somebody to talk to. I’m not alone. I’m not the only one. So just reflect, reset and reconnect.

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“All my life, I have acted with the firm purpose of helping my community and, in many ways, I continue to do so. Therefore, my advice is: visualize yourself, trust the power of your mind and attract what you want for yourself. Yes, you can live the dream!”

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