We tend to think that love relationships are the result of what we do and live with those people at that moment. However, although we may not be aware of it, the experiences we have lived previously have a lot to do with the choices we make and the way we act. In the literary work “The Women Who Love Too Much” by Robin Norwood, the author addresses just this and shares important lessons.
From the letters of women who share their experiences, the author exposes the importance of healing to process in a better way the traumas that were lived in childhood and prevent women from feeling attracted and deciding to relate to men who instead of offering them love, can make them live in constant suffering.
Thus, the experiences of the past not only influence the choice that women can make of a partner for their lives, but it can also lead them to be too tolerant and permissive in toxic relationships and end up often forgiving the faults of their partners.
5 lessons from “Women Who Love Too Much”.
Sometimes we tend to think that everything we do for love is valid and that this person should occupy the first place in our lives, even putting ourselves before ourselves. Through the analysis of the stories of psychotherapist Robin Norwood, it is possible to find valuable lessons to learn how to create healthier bonds.
Today, I want to share with you some phrases from this literary piece that can give you valuable lessons:
– “When our relationship harms our emotional well-being and even, perhaps, our physical health and integrity, we are undoubtedly loving too much.”
– “If an individual is capable of loving productively, they also love themselves; if they can only love others, they are not capable of loving at all.”
– “Women who love too much make those choices driven by a need to control those closest to them.”
– “I release all the pain of the past and welcome the health, joy and success that is rightfully mine.”
– “So, for the first time, my project will be myself instead of trying to change someone else.”
As you see, it is not about giving all your love and your whole life to the other person so that he/she will always be by your side, the most important thing before loving someone else is to love yourself and just as you care and look for that person’s happiness, you must do it for yourself. Loving your partner cannot cost you your physical and emotional well-being.
How do you know if you are loving too much?
Although “loving too much” may sound beautiful from a romantic and idealistic point of view, it is important to keep in mind that the most important love is the one you feel for yourself and if the bond you have with your partner leads you to put aside your limits, dreams, values, among others, you may have to heal wounds of which you are not aware. Therefore, I invite you to pay attention to the following signs that indicate that you may be loving too much:
– All your conversations are centered on the ideas and feelings of your partner.
– You excuse their moodiness, temper, indifference, or slights.
– You put up with their behaviors, unrestrained yelling, and values.
– The relationship harms your emotional well-being, health, and physical integrity.
– You feel sadness for no reason, nervousness, and low self-esteem.
Don’t forget that those ideas we have been exposed to for years that relate love with suffering do not speak of healthy relationships. Love should represent tranquility and happiness, never pain.
While finding a partner can be a very positive experience of which we should not deprive ourselves, you should not forget that the most important person in your life is yourself. Putting other people’s feelings and well-being above our own leads us to build unhealthy relationships.
Don’t forget that to love someone, it is essential to love yourself. That’s why, today, I want to invite you to listen to my podcast, where you can find valuable tools to connect with self-love and improve the bonds with the people around you.