There is a time when we need to stop parenting and become our children’s best friend. That is the reflection of the day. So many times, we hear, we have to be respected because we are the father or the mother. I know this is something that, in the Latin Community, is something that exists and is pretty prevalent where somehow the parents never stop being parents and they are afraid to become friends of their children because of the perception that has been created all these years through generations and generations. I think this is something that is changing with the years and the new generation. I think we are looking for ways to connect with our children a little bit differently. I remember, in my era, my parents, especially my mom, used to beat the heck out of me. Obviously, that is not ok anymore. But I think we still have a lot of room for growth when it comes to the way that we perceive our children. There comes a time where we do not need to be parenting anymore. We need to really be supporting them as their best friend. Support them as someone that would totally be unconditionally dedicated to them. But you’re no longer there to be lecturing them because when you lecture your children, when they are grown-ups, they’re adults. What you create is a major disconnect. Ultimately, I think we all, as parents, what we want is to be able to have our children want to spend time with us. When we lecture them, they are not going to want to spend time with us. They rather be with their friends than be with someone that feels that for the rest of their lives, they need to be lectured and think that they are righteous. Going back to righteousness. If you create righteousness in the relationship with your children, forget it. You’re not going to have a deep connection and, ultimately, creating that connection should be the most important reason in your life. To stop being a parent, this is something that I can tell you I’m extremely present to because I do remember, at one point, when my kids started doing, you know, crazy stuff that you say, “ Oh my God, I am going to kill them! I can’t believe they just did that.” But, for me, the fact that they would come to me and share the things that they did, that ultimately sometimes, I would think about it and I would say, “Well, I remember being a kid, I remember being a teenager and as I was growing up, I did some of the same things. But we tend to forget, as parents, that we were that crazy too and that is something that happens to all of us. We have a tendency to forget how mischievous we were when we were children or when we were growing up. I can tell you that, for me, going back to that relationship that I have created with my children, that is so special and I can honestly speak and say that I personally know what I’m doing. My kids are 35 and 31 and my daughter is 12. So she’s still young and I’m working on that connection but my older children, they want to be with me. We have our coffee dates. I have the coffee date with my son, Jeffrey on Tuesdays and coffee date with my son, Franco on Fridays. Then, Mondays are for my daughter. It is mommy-daughter date night. I go out with my daughter. So, three days out of the week, at least an hour is dedicated each day to my children to be fully present without being on the phone, without being distracted. Fully present to what they are doing and be interested in their journeys and their happiness and the ideas that they have, what’s exciting them and what’s worrying them. That is a connection of a best friend. If you’re trying to create a connection and you feel a little bit stuck then, reflect and reset. Are you trying to be a parent too hard? Maybe you just need to be a best friend. That is the reflection of the day.
Letn/ reflect, reset and reconnect.
