Behind those defensive of walls there is pain!

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Behind those defensive of walls there is pain!
Behind those defensive walls, there is pain. That is the reflection of the day. I have a tendency when I am dealing with people that are angry or people that are around me could be employees, it could be a family member, or it could be friends or people that I interact with that are just people that I’ve met, I look at how they have created those defensive walls that you could actually feel that energy. It is felt. It is an energy that creates disconnection. It creates limitations because when people carry that defensive wall, they actually even look angry. They speak in a tone that is a negative tone even when they’re just having an interaction. This actually just happened to me. I’m reflecting because I was having a conversation with one of our interns and I was explaining to her how from the moment I met her, I have felt these defensive walls that she has. I see the interaction with the other interns or the other employees or the patients and I’ve been observing her. I see that that wall is there and very present. I brought her in with love and kindness to guide her, to try to mentor her into understanding that she is carrying that wall. What I find is that with love and kindness, you could actually start breaking down those defensive walls and you can help people. That is my goal in life. That is the reason why I can take any one that is really angry and I actually know that I can soften them by the time they’re done speaking with me. I don’t have defensive walls. I used to. I used to. So, I definitely understand that those walls are walls that we create to protect ourselves because the pain of the things that have happened to us, trauma or abuse or neglect, all of that creates a protection because we don’t want to continue to be hurt. But ironically, the limitations that we create by building those walls are great. So many people end up living an average life because they don’t even realize, they don’t even realize that those walls are there. So, when I spoke with this person and I explained how I felt and some of the concepts that I’m speaking on this podcast, she actually started to cry. She broke down and I said, “I know there is pain. We are not born this way and we don’t want to be this way. That I can assure you because the energy that it takes to maintain those defensive walls is draining you. So, I’m going to ask you to reflect on two things. Number one is what are those defensive walls that you have or you are creating or who do you have those walls with where you’re already having a conversation and you’re already getting ready to combat, to give, to win. The other one is let’s reflect on love and kindness. How kind and loving are we being to those people that can carry that pain through these defensive walls. Let’s reflect, reset and reconnect.

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