Acknowledging the feelings of the other person is necessary to create the connection. That is the reflection of the day. This reflection is about my relationship with my daughter. As many of you know, I am divorced and my daughter for the past five years has been pretty much with me by herself. There was one person in these five years that was introduced to her for a short period of time. As I started the journey of dating a little while ago, I knew that this time I was going to have the conversation with my daughter that I was going to start dating and actively looking for someone to bring into our lives eventually and that this was something that I wanted her to think about and that I knew that she was going to go through an adjustment period. So as it turns out, I met someone that I am really enjoying being with. I feel very connected with this person and definitely feel that this is someone that I would want my daughter to get to know which is a great feeling because it’s been so long since I have experienced this type of happiness when it comes to being connected to an amazing person that I have been blessed to meet. But I wanted to share that with my daughter. At the beginning, when she heard from me that I was dating this person and that someday soon I was asking her to meet this person, she was giving me a hard time. One of the things that I like to do when I feel that I’m stuck and I felt a little stuck on how to handle her without hurting her but, at the same time, being firm with my decision of her meeting John, this person that I’m dating. I asked my niece who happens to be a doctor in Psychology and she gave me incredible advice. It’s something that almost sounds, you know, like common sense but you know many times the advice that we get, we really don’t digest them until someone else tells us the advice. So it is acknowledging the feelings of my daughter that was something that I needed to do. Acknowledge letting her know that I understand that it is hard for her to be in this position where I know she doesn’t want to share me with anyone and I know that she’s afraid of somebody taking over our time and not just the time but Mommy’s love too. Just saying I understand and I definitely, you know, will take that into consideration and I understand your feelings but, at the same time, being firm on what it is that I needed her to do and that is giving her choices of how she would meet John. So I have to tell you that it actually worked. The conversation was a lot easier. She let the guard down and Natasha, next week, will be meeting the new man in my life. Somebody that I am definitely willing to bring into our world because I feel that this person is a special person that can add to our lives. So let’s reflect and reset on the fact that so many times all we have to do is just say, “ I understand your feelings”. I understand exactly what you feel but then, you can express your own feelings and you can express your own desires of getting to certain goals. So let’s reflect, reset and reconnect.
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